Idol Chatter & Voice Views

For starters, I never again want to hear about Wheat Thins.

I don’t want to see one, let alone eat one.

After all, I’ve just watched videos done by about 180 Hollywood-bound American Idol contestants. Dozens and dozens and dozens of which were preceded by a wheat thin commercial.

But I learned lots about those golden ticket recipients. And I’ll be telling you a little about each and every one of them between now and Tuesday evening, when the Idol Hollywood episodes — actually filmed weeks ago — begin.

Let’s start with the fun stuff. In their videos, each Idol contestant is asked if he or she has a special talent.

Wow. Do they ever.

Lots of these Idol hopefuls can do tongue tricks. And demonstrate.

Lots are double-jointed. And demonstrate.

Many think they’re good at impersonations. And demonstrate.

Idol found some sports stars, too. In addition to being a pretty darn good singer-songwriter, Jaclyn North of Dallas swears she can whip a softball from home to second base, from her knees, in under 2 seconds.

Michael Lynche of St. Petersburg, Fla., says he hasn’t lost an arm wrestling match since age 9. If you saw the guy in Wednesday’s “The Road to Hollywood” episode, you won’t be surprised.

Jason Shorter of Randolph, Mass., loves to draw. One day, he plans to design his own home. He says he keeps drawing it “bigger and bigger.” Pretty soon, we’ll find out if Idol stardom will help pay for those big dreams.

Chelsea Chandler of Memphis, Tenn., has tried her hand at dancing, figure skating and showing horses and says she has “an impeccable skill at injuring myself.” No wonder she’s trying singing.

Justin Ray of Miraville, Ind., downright worries me. He says he created a character — Margaret Von — “a 70-year-old smoker woman” and portrays her. He says it’s hilarious. I’m suffering from Nick Mitchell (aka Normund Gentle) flashbacks.

Kimberly Carver of Denton, Texas, worries me, too. Her special talent: A loud, obnoxious laugh. Now I’m having Tatiana Nicole Del Toro flashbacks.

Christian Spear of Houston appeared at the same Dallas auditions and says she has a birthmark in her hair. Is that even possible?

And about those distracted driving laws … pass them, lawmakers. As quickly as possible.

Brandi Holmes of Houston, Texas; Kelsey Madsen of Cedar Rapids, Iowa; and Kiera Masters of Salt Lake City, Utah, all bragged about their ability to drive with their knees.

Kiera says she can do it while “talking on the phone and eating … even taking corners. Don’t try it at home.”

Or at least don’t try it without having Vanessa Wolfe, of Venamore, Tenn., along as a passenger.

Remember Vanessa from the Atlanta auditions? She’s the gal who fears she’ll be forever stuck in little ol’ Venamore, Tenn.

Vanessa says her special talent is talking her way out of police tickets.

For strange talents, I’m not sure anyone beats Keanna O’Quinn of Harlem, N.Y.. She says she used to be able to breathe out of her eyeball. “But I stopped practicing, so it doesn’t work anymore.”

Oh, well.

Here are links to videos of American Idol contestants displaying their special talents. Be patient. That comes near the end of each video.

And if you wind up watching a wheat thins commercial … well, I apologize in advance.

Amanda Shectman of Roslyn, N.Y., displays an incredible knack for talking with her mouth shut.

Lauren Daigle of Lafayette, Louisiana, demonstrates her alter ego, Beverly Big Lips.

Seth Rollins of Lakeland, Fla., demonstrates a rather bizarre ear trick.