Idol Chatter & Voice Views

Whew, now that I’ve got my Cute Boy Idol rant out of the way, it’s time to rant some more.

Wow, wasn’t that a dud of a show? I mean, from start to finish.

For performances, we get a shirtless 63-year-old Iggy Pop getting bleeped out repeatedly.

And Constantine Maroulis singing “Unchained Melody” on rock night and turning in the most overbaked performance since Jacob Lusk performed … well, anything.

For comic relief, we get Russell Brand pretending to be a judge and telling Pia Toscano to imagine he and the other judges sitting behind the table with no pants or underwear. How totally unfunny.

Of course, that TMZ segment was pretty lame, too.

The Gwen Stefani segment? Just pointless.

So in the span of two weeks, we go from classic Idol to an Idol episode that came across as something thrown together by a high schooler with a video camera and some celebrities at his disposal.

And, at the end, Ryan Seacrest and the judges should have just complimented Pia and shut the heck up.

Ryan blamed viewers at home for the ouster of Pia, perhaps the most talented singer on the show this year.

Really, Ryan? You think voting rules that allow countless votes from a single viewer didn’t have anything to do with it.

The judges were stunned. Jennifer was angry. Randy was shocked. Randy said the suddenly silent Steven Tyler was shocked.

THEN JUDGE, YOU IDIOTS.

Steven has loved 31 straight performances. Heck, he’d probably love it if William Hung showed up on stage and sang “She Bangs.”

Jennifer and Randy haven’t been much better.

Well, judgy-poohs, if you do absolutely nothing to help viewers at home discern the truly talented from the pretenders on this show, you can hardly been stunned when something goes horribly awry.

And have no doubt, something went horribly awry Thursday on Cute Boy Idol.

The breakdown.

Deserved its fate: For all the reasons mentioned above — American Idol, which should take another huge credibility hit from tonight’s results. Adam Lambert loses. Crystal Bowersox loses. Now Pia Toscano finishes ninth. Do you know who finishes ninth on Idol? Andrew Garcia, who never lived up to his “Straight Up” potential. Megan Joy, who seldom sang on key during the show. Ramiele Malubay, who couldn’t stop crying. You get the picture. This is not the finish you expect for the season’s best singer.

Stock rising: Dare I say, Haley Reinhart. She was the best of the bunch Wednesday singing Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart.” Once, she appeared headed toward an early exit. Now she’s managed to avoid the bottom three on three consecutive weeks. But she’s a female. So she’ll probably be eliminated next week.

Stock sinking: Jacob Lusk. Idol has certainly gone out of its way to showcase Jacob. He got all those hugs two weeks ago. He somehow got to perform a duet with the writer of “Man in the Mirror” during the early part of Wednesday’s performance. And he still wound up in the bottom three. The judges harped on Pia Toscano’s lack of charisma on stage. No one has said a word about Jacob’s wild facial expressions. And for a guy who wouldn’t sing “Let’s Get It On,” there were an awful lot of hip thrusts in that “Man in the Mirror” performance.

Very, very lucky: The judges might not have been as shocked Thursday night as Stefano Langone. Did you watch his expression? He clearly thought he was on the way out. And rightly so.  If he sings another ballad next week … well, that should be the final straw. Then again, maybe not. This is Cute Boy Idol. And Stefano’s a cute guy.

On the bubble: Paul McDonald. When Scotty McCreery, Pia and Paul were called center stage as a group Thursday night, everyone had to think it was Paul headed to the bottom three. And I wonder what would have happened if that rather bizarre, happy-go-lucky version of “Folsom Prison Blues” had come at the start of Wednesday’s show and not at the end. Bottom line: Paul needs to pick it up, or people will be talking about his unfulfilled potential on the show. After all, we’re soon going to run out of females to eliminate on Cute Boy Idol.

Coming tomorrow: An exit interview with Pia Toscano.

Coming this weekend: New rankings for the final 8 Idols. Or maybe more ranting.