Idol Chatter & Voice Views

Hey, Idol made it through a whole show last night without a single reference to Jennifer Lopez’s new album or Steven Tyler’s upcoming solo video.

Of course, that changes tonight when Jennifer performs “On the Floor.”

Tonight’s other guest star is Lady Antebellum; the trio has a new single of  their own in “Just a Kiss.”

All of which should lead up to the none-too-soon elimination of Jacob Lusk.

He pretty much imploded on the Idol stage last night, singing a duet solo, then oversinging “Love Hurts.” Oversinging it so badly it hurt.

Though you’d never know how badly he did if you listened to the clueless trio who call themselves judges on American Idol.

I’ve checked out lots of other reviews of last night’s performances, and the conclusion that Jacob should go home tonight is pretty much universal.

Some other common threads.

1. I was far from the only Idol watcher who thought James Durbin was off key all night.

2. Lots of people think Lauren Alaina did OK. And wonder if OK is good enough to be an American Idol.

3. Haley Reinhart stole the show, and her Gaga song was much better than the judges gave her credit for.

It’s because of those judges that I find myself checking out other Idol reviews so much this year. I mean, they are just totally useless when it comes to any meaningful critique of what happens on stage.

That conclusion is pretty much universal, too. Turns out “worthless” isn’t nearly the worst these judges are being called.

Advice for Nigel Lythgoe: Jennifer and Steven might be worth keeping around. If you decide to do so, please send them to off-season judges’ school. Or make them watch The Voice or the X Factor to see how it should be done.

More advice for Nigel: If Randy Jackson’s contract is up, don’t renew it. You were either fantasizing or dreaming when you envisioned Randy becoming the take-charge guy on this panel. Take charge of what? Spouting tired-old cliches?

Tonight’s show starts with the top five singing “Happy Together.” Now if I could pick a song I wouldn’t want Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk or James Durbin to sing, this would be on the short list.

Good grief, Nigel. This is one of the stupidest Idol group numbers ever. Which of these artists did you look at and think, “That would be the perfect song for him/her?”

OK, this Chef Ramsey segment is pretty humorous. Naturally, Jacob Lusk’s omelette is called “Omelette Gone Wild.”

And Lauren Alaina wins the omelette contest, with a very excited Jacob finishing second. Poor Scotty McCreery had to watch the good chef spit out his omelette. Part II of that competition coming up later.

Lady A takes the stage next. Gonna be tough guys, following up on the enormous success of “Need You Now.” Best of luck with that.

Oh, no, Ryan says we might be surprised with tonight’s results. Anyone other than Jacob going home would be a huge mistake.

James Durbin is the first to learn his fate. Jimmy Iovine criticizes him for losing control of his emotion during “Without You.” James has been a 9-10 most weeks, Jimmy said; last night, he was an 8.

Lauren Alaina up next. Jimmy says she did fine on “Flat on the Floor,” but pulled back at a key moment of “Unchained Melody” out of fear. He calls that her Achilles heel and suspects it will land her in the bottom two tonight.

Part II of the Chef challenge, a taste test between Jacob and Lauren. Lauren wins because she can recognize a hot dog in a blind taste test.

Now it’s time for Jennifer to perform. Actually, this was pre-taped.

OK, the Jennifer commercial is over, let’s get on with the results.

Back to results, with James and Lauren standing on opposite sides of the stage.

Jacob is next to hear Jimmy’s review. Jimmy calls it a “rough night” for Jacob and says his nervousness came out. He rates Jacob as a 6 last night. And Jacob is asked to join Lauren on her side of the stage.

Haley is next to hear from Jimmy. Wow, listen to the ovation she gets. Jimmy says Haley won the night with a 10. He calls her a lock for the finale if her confidence continues. She joins James on the his side of the stage.

Scotty is next. He’s safe. Jimmy praises his performance on “Gone,” but says he came up a little short on his second song. And Scotty’s asked to join the safe group. He’s safe along with James and Haley.

Fabulous news. Those should be the final three on the show this year.

Lauren Alaina and Jacob are in the bottom two. And Lauren has been reduced to tears by this turn of events.

And Jacob heads home. Lauren survives to sing another day.

Good job, America.