The finals, The X Factor

A night of rock mockery on The X Factor

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Dear Simon:

Do away with theme nights on The X Factor.  Please!

For one thing, they make your show look like more of an American Idol knock-off than it already is.

Then there’s this:  Rock week was a mockery.

Astro, aka Brian Bradley, still rapped.

Chris Rene sang reggae.

You had the gall to criticize that as some sort of bending of the rules by fellow judge L.A. Reid.

Then you sent Melanie Amaro and Drew Ryniewicz onstage and had them sing ballads.

How bad was it?

Nine singers in, the show cut to some of those countless commercials.

There was the original American Idol, Kelly Clarkson, climbing into a Camry.

She belted out a couple lines from her song “What Doesn’t Kill You”  (aka “Stronger”).

And it was the best rock performance of the night, by a country mile.

That said, here’s the recap, on a night when American Idol (oops, The X Factor) took a gigantic step in the wrong direction.

Best of the night: The best vocal of the night in a non-rock performance came from — no surprise here — Melanie when she tackled REM’s “Everybody Hurts.”  The best vocal of the night in a true rock performance came from Josh Krajcik singing the Foo Fighters’ “The Pretender.”  And it wasn’t nearly as good as the judges pretended.

Worst of the night: Wow, lots of competition for this honor.   Chris Rene tried to sing, and proved again that his singing voice isn’t up to grade with any solo performer left in the competition.   Stacy Francis tried to sing Meatloaf, and proved she should be forbidden from ever singing a Meatloaf song again.  But nothing could top little Rachel Crow shouting out “Satisfaction.”  Simon, you should have your head examined.  Horrific song choice.   Horrific execution.  The hands-down worst performance in the finals to date.

Please keep them: Lakoda Rayne.  I’d hate to see Paula lose her final act.  They turned in a cruise-ship performance Wednesday night.   I mean, it was just not very special.  But, like Simon, I see potential in the country-rock-pop quartet.   More potential than in some of the other contestants.

The judging: The good news is, the judges finally started judging the performances on stage rather than just one another. The bad news is, some of their judgments seemed … well, let’s just say they seem to have their favorites.  That’s the only explanation I have for the fact that LeRoy Bell got roundly criticized after a fine vocal and then, one song later, Rachel got rave reviews for being awful.  And I loved that slide through the dancers’ legs by Marcus Canty.  But his show-ending performance was more style than substance.

In danger: Chris Rene or Stacy Francis deserves to go home Thursday night.   I’ll give Rachel a pass because she was quite special a week ago.   Chris and Stacy haven’t been special yet.   But I have a feeling LeRoy Bell was set up for failure Wednesday.   He was made to perform first in the spot that rightly belonged to Rachel.   Then he was criticized by everyone but his own mentor (Nicole) after a vocal that was no less rock than many that followed.

For the complete song-by-song rundown, go here.

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