Idol Chatter & Voice Views

As American Idol faces the declining ratings and the departure of Simon Cowell, I’m offering up 10 free tips on how to save the show.

Tip 10: Find the producers’ lost marbles

Producers? What producers?

Judging from the way season nine has gone, you get the impression Idol producers lost a few marbles in a Michael Lynche headlock or were hypnotized into silliness by stagelights.

Consider this …

* We had Shakira singing on country music night, a duet with Rascal Flatts’ vocalist Gary LeVox no less. Except his mike didn’t work.

* The Idol contestants sang inspirational tunes leading up to the Idol Gives Back charity show. Then the actual show opens with the Black Eyed Peas singing “Shake That Body” and Fergie prancing around in a snakeskin bathing suit. Except the sound system didn’t work, so it sounded like she and Will. I. Am were shouting into trash cans.

* Because Perez Hilton says so, last week’s results show features some kid named Travis Garland as a featured performer. That performance might have earned him a ticket to Hollywood. The vocal wasn’t even finals worthy. Had anyone besides Perez Hilton heard of Travis Garland?

* Frank Sinatra Week featured Lady Gaga on the results show in a performance edited so that one part made no sense at all. At least her mike worked.

* Some weeks featured guest mentors. Others didn’t. With no rhyme or reason. Except that the guest mentor usually had a new single or album or tour or movie to hawk.

* Definition of mentor: a wise and trusted counselor or teacher; an influential senior sponsor or supporter. Idol’s first mentor of season nine: 17-year-old Miley Cyrus.

Genius or folly.

I’d say folly.

And an effort that came off more like an amateurish pilot for a sure-to-fail TV show than a well-thought-out, well-executed game plan for the most-watched TV show in the land.

To succeed in the post-Simon era, Idol producers had better do much better.