Idol Chatter & Voice Views

Talk about rude.

I had heard there might be some Idols up for Teen Choice Awards. So I headed to teenchoiceawards.com to get the scoop.

I’m greeted by an explosion of summer colors and three pensive looking Jonas Brothers (”please, please, think of us as serious musicians”) staring back at me.

Having recovered from that, I started searching for a list of nominees. Nowhere to be found. So I clicked on the link that says, “cast your vote,” figuring surely there must be a list of nominees there.

Well, first you have to register. And you have to enter your date of birth.

So I did all that.

Did I find a list of nominees?

Nooo! All I got was a message — in red type, in a red-shaded box — telling me I’m not eligible to vote.

It might as well have screamed: Too old!!!

Heck, all I wanted was a list of nominees.

Ugh.

OK, maybe I’m getting a little too bent out of shape over an awards show where the categories include best movie liplock and where Billy Ray Cyrus is nominated for best “parental unit.”

But there are Idols involved, so this must be semi-serious business.

Finally, I found the list of nominees. And, boy, are there Idols involved. A total of 15 nominations, including a rematch between Adam Lambert and Kris Allen and a showdown between Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest.

Of course, the competition is tough. In addition to being hosts, those Jonas Brothers are nominated in several categories. So are some other real teens — really popular teens — like Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift.

Here are the nominees. And my votes. (Take that teenchoice.com!)

Those of you between 13 and 19 can cast a real vote every day between now and … well, I’m not sure. But the show airs Monday, Aug. 10, at 8 p.m. on FOX.

Check back then, I’ll be posting photos from the show. And let me know if you disagree with my picks.

TV: Reality Competition
Nominee: “American Idol,” up against “America’s Best Dance Crew,” “America’s Next Top Model,” “The Bachelor” and “Dancing with the Stars.”
My vote: A too-similar cast of finalists. A wrong winner. A bikini-flashing, “No-Boundaries”-writing fourth judge. A mangled semifinal format. Nope. Wasn’t a good year for Idol. Give the award to any other show.

TV: Personalities
Nominees: Idol judge Simon Cowell and host Ryan Seacrest, up against Tyra Banks of “America’s Next Top Model,” Lil Mama of “America’s Best Dance Crew” and Mario Lopez of the same show.
My vote: Simon, of course. Hey, word has it, he’s worth $144 million per year. Well, maybe not. But he’s often the only judge who makes sense on Idol.

TV: Male Reality/Variety Star
Nominees: Kris Allen and Adam Lambert, up against Rob Dyrdek of “Rod Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory,” Brody Jenner of “Bromance” and Ryan Sheckler of “Life of Ryan.”
My vote: Adam Lambert. Heck, he should have won Idol. He deserves to beat Kris Allen at something this year.

Music: Single
Nominee: Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You” is up against “Poker Face” (Lady Gaga), “The Climb” (Miley Cyrus), “Hot N Cold” (Katy Perry), “Circus” (Britney Spears).
My vote: Go, Gaga. Sorry, Kelly.

Music: R&B Artist
Nominee: Jennifer Hudson is up against Jamie Foxx, Beyonce, Ne-Yo, T-Pain.
My vote: Jennifer, of course. Hey, she won a Grammy. And she was selected to sing at Michael Jackson’s memorial service.

Music: Breakout Artist
Nominees: David Cook and David Archuleta, up against Lady Gaga, Kid Cudi and Asher Roth.
My vote: Go, Gaga. Sorry, David and David. Check back when either of you have three singles in the top 20 at the same time.

Music: Love Song
Nominees: David Archuleta’s “The Crush,” up against “Halo” (Beyonce), “Lovebug” (Jonas Brothers), “How Do You Sleep” (Jesse McCarthy), “Love Story” (Taylor Swift).
My vote: Taylor’s “Love Story.”

Music: Male Artist, Album
Nominee: David Cook’s self-titled debut album up against: “Relapse” by Eminem, “The Carter III” by Lil Wayne, “We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things” by Jason Mraz, “808s and Heartbreak” by Kanye West.
My vote: Jason Mraz.

Music: Female Artist, Album
Nominee: Carrie Underwood’s “Carnival Ride” up against “Fame” (Lady Gaga), “Fearless” (Taylor Swift), “One of the Boys” (Katy Perry), “I am … Sasha Fierce” (Beyonce)
My vote: “Fame.” Go, Gaga. Or “Fearless.” Go, Taylor. Sorry, Carrie. “Carnival Ride” was released in 2007. This is a 2009 award.

Music: Favorite Tour
Nominees: American Idol, Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato/David Archuleta, Britney Spears, Taylor Swift.
My vote: The Jonas Brothers will win, but my vote goes to Taylor and tour buddy and former Idol contestant Kellie Pickler, who have been selling out concert venues all over the country. And poor Jordin Sparks must be feeling left out. She’s opening for the Jonas Brothers and doesn’t even get a mention.

Red Carpet Icon: Male
Nominee: Adam Lambert up against Zac Efron, Jonas Brothers, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West
My vote: Adam Lambert?

Now I understand why I can’t vote for these awards. I’m old enough to think someone needs to be in the spotlight for more than a couple months to be considered an icon of anything.