Idol Chatter & Voice Views

The X Factor begins its search for new Season 2 talent tonight.

But, let’s face it, the real focus won’t be on new singers. It will be on the two new judges sitting between L.A. Reid and Simon Cowell.

That would be Demi Lovato and Britney Spears, of course, and tons of viewers are likely to tune in tonight to see how they do in their judging debuts.

Don’t expect to learn too much. These episodes are pre-taped. And pre-taped episodes can be edited to make almost anyone look witty, insightful, entertaining.

The true test will come in the live episodes. And, sadly, those are weeks away, after lots of auditions, The X Factor’s version of Idol’s Hollywood Week and a trip to the judges’ mansion.

Unless the show has shaken up its Season 2 format.

We start off with Simon saying he has “no idea what’s going to happen.”

But Demi and Britney quickly address their qualifications as judges. Demi says you can learn a lot in four or five years in the music business and that she knows what her generation is listening to. Britney notes that she’s been in the business since age 8 and thinks she knows and understands talent.

Our auditions start in Austin, Texas. And it’s pretty clear from the opening that Britney is the star of this show.

But, 10 minutes in, it’s time to meet contestants:

Paige Thomas, 21, San Antonio: She’s a nursing student who says she started listening to Britney when she was 9. She admires Britney because she’s a single mom just like her, with a 3-year-old daughter. Simon says Paige “looks amazing.” She’ll sing “I’m Going Down.” And she turns in a sassy performance, if it seems a wee bit over the top here and there. Wow, L.A. Reid starts off by comparing her to Rihanna. And Simon calls it one of his “favorite ever auditions,” and says she’s “commercial with a capital C.” Naturally, she advances.

Shawn Armenta, 50: He’s an airline bagger who calls singing and dancing his passion and says he’s been working hard to prepare for his X Factor audition. Preparing for one year and six months in fact. He’ll sing an original song, “Candy Girl.” OK, we have our first joke audition of the year. Not sure why they waste our time on this crap. These type of auditions stopped being funny a long, long time ago.

Reed Deming, 13: Next up, a seventh-grader who we’re told looks like Justin Bieber and says he’ll crawl on broken glass to make his dream come true. But he confesses he’s never performed in front of a celebrity before. He’ll perform “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars. Simon stops him and has him sing “Grenade” instead. That’s great, we’ve got a 13-year-old singing about his willingness to take “a bullet in his brain” for his baby. But Demi thinks he’s adorable and L.A. says his personality is “larger than this building.” Oh, and Britney thinks he’s “adorable” too. I wasn’t impressed. Then again, I think 13 is way too young for contestants on these shows. He advances.

Kaci Newton, 22, Border, Texas: Now we get to meet the pretty blonde who’s wanted this her whole life and was acting rather catty backstage. She’s going to sing “Fireworks” by Katy Perry. Oh, and she considers herself a cross between Carrie Underwood and Adele and wants to be a legend. She’s wearing that sticker on her pants because Paige’s daughter got a stain on them. And the vocals aren’t very good. Simon says it sounded like she “was dying.” Oh, and Simon ends the audition by calling her “annoying.” Well, hope Kaci enjoyed her 49 minutes of fame. She doesn’t advance.

And we’re already off to San Francisco, where the crazies apparently prevail.

Quatrele Da’an Smith, 21: A male cake decorator shows up in a wedding dress because, naturally he’s “getting married to X Factor today.” The cake decorator is going to sing Gaga’s “Born This Way.” The best we can say for Quatrele is that he had the judges laughing. And Britney, who has donned her smart glasses, says yes because while he’s off key, he’s entertaining. Simon, Demi and Britney says yes to the madness. Even though Simon says he would be the result if Madonna, Bobby Brown and Dracula had a child. Somehow, he advances.

Vincent Thomas, 22, California: He’ll sing “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word.” Vincent has been performing since he was 12 or 13, sometimes as an actor, sometimes as a member of a boy band, which toured Europe at one time and played in front of 60,000 people. I sure hope he wasn’t the lead singer. That was horrible.

Emblem 3: Our first group, made up of three guys from Huntington Beach. But, hey, don’t confuse them with a boy band. Vincent did. They quickly corrected him. They say they play their own instruments and they’ll sing an original song, “Sunset Boulevard.” OK, this is an absolute mess, but someone cued the crowd to stand as though it isn’t. And glasses-wearing Britney says it’s awesome and calls them “very funky.” Simon “loved everything about” the audition and predicts big things for them. Well, we all know Simon loves his boy bands. Oops, that’s right, they’re three guys who sing together, but they aren’t a boy band. We’ll see.

Don Philip, 32, Bronx, N.Y.: He’s a vocal coach who did a duet with Britney 10 years ago. He says he views this audition as his final chance. He says he’s tired of hearing “Don Phillip, the guy who did the duet with Britney Spears. I want to be Don Phillip.” Britney recognizes him when he steps on stage. He’s in tears over their reunion, and launches into a rendition of “Halo.” Unfortunately, this doesn’t appear like it’s going to be a happy reunion. Simon says his voice isn’t that good; Britney says his voice isn’t up to X Factor standards.

And we’re off to Providence, Rhode Island …

Jennel Garcia, 18, Rochester, Mass.: She lives in a small house in a small town on a dead-end street and says life starts now. After all, she just graduated from high school. She’s sorta cute and bubbly. And despite being 18, she says she’s into Pat Benatar. So she’ll sing “If I Was in Paris.” Finally, someone who seems to know how to rock the stage. And can sing, too. Demi calls her “hot.” In fact, young Jennel impressed all four judges. And, of course, she’s bound for boot camp. She’s also the best contestant we’ve seen since Paige Thomas started the show about 100 minutes ago.

Jillian Jensen, 19, Rochester, Mass.: She’s a part-time music teacher who shows up on stage looking like a rock star. She says she was severely bullied in middle and high school and would cry herself to sleep at night. She found solace in music. She’s turning in an impassioned performance of Jessie J’s “Who You Are.” Not sure that was the best vocal of the night, but it was the most emotional. Jillian said she brought a large group of supporters with her, and the response to her performance has her in tears.