Idol Chatter & Voice Views

I initially wrote this as a list of seven tips for Season 11 back between the top 3 show and the Idol finale.

But Nigel Lythgoe and company bungled things so wonderfully down the home stretch that I was able to expand the list to an even 10 tips.

And some of the first seven need a revision considering the continuing ineptitude of the judges and comments Nigel made about what might be in store for next season.

Enjoy.

Editor’s Note: This is one in a series of blogs looking back at Idol Season 10. Others include my picks for the top 10 performances, the top 5 non-performance moments, and a look at how the contestants should have finished. And if you missed the massive photo gallery from this year’s finale, head here.

1. Fire Randy Jackson

Executive producer Nigel Lythgoe promised us Randy was stepping up his game with Simon Cowell gone. By mid-season it was clear: Randy was merely vying for the Idol crown as King of Banality. From grand exaggerations (like calling a couple of Jacob Lusk performances I can’t even recall the best ever on Idol) to beating favorite phrases to death, Randy was horrid in season 10. If I had to grade him … well, there isn’t a letter grade below F, is there? “In it to win it?” What sense does that make? I mean, which contestant was in it to lose it. Replacing Randy shouldn’t be difficult. I mean, Nigel, look over at NBC. On “The Voice,” they went four for four in judges who are better than Randy.

2. Send Steven Tyler to Judging School

After what we witnessed in the finale, I’m not sure he’s salvageable. I mean, we get down to the most important episode of the season, and this knucklehead awards rounds one and two to Lauren Alaina because she’s “prettier.” Are you kidding me? Before that Steven was on a love everything roll that made Paula Abdul look like the second coming of Simon Cowell. By my count, there were about 110 performances in the finals. Steven loved every one. How is that even possible? Send him to judging school, Nigel.  Insist that he come back ready to be more critical in Season 11. Meanwhile, he should repay Idol at least 50 percent of his salary for checking out after the semifinals. Maybe more since he got to hawk his new single and his book on the show.

3. Don’t let the judges pick songs

It’s ludicrous that I have to type those words. Especially since the judges so often criticize the contestants’ song choices. But the judges’ picks for the Top 3 show the past two seasons have been moronic. Stunning in their stupidity. Last year, they picked “Maybe I’m Amazed” for Crystal Bowersox. Fine song. Except that it forced Idol’s first female finalist in three years to sing “baby, I’m a man” over and over.

This year, they picked Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” for Haley Reinhart. With verses that are spit out and spoken more than sung. With X-rated lyrics in the first verse that made no sense once changed for Idol’s PG-13 audience. A song with none of the soulfulness to show off what is special about Haley’s voice. Which of those three might have been clues that this wasn’t the song to pick? Well, Nigel, if you wanted to prove that the show had it in for Haley and wanted Lauren in the finals, this song choice did it. It was a 10 on the difficulty scale compared to Lauren’s 2, like asking Haley to do advanced calculus while Lauren added 2 plus 2.

It was the most blatantly unfair segment we’ve seen on Idol since Blake Lewis was forced to sing “This is My Now” in the Season 6 finale.

4. Fix the voting

This probably won’t happen now that two gals made the final three. Nigel Lythgoe will probably pretend all is right with the world as he salivates over 95 million votes. It needs to happen. The first five contestants eliminated this year were ladies. And that followed a poor track record of support for female contestants over the previous three seasons.

Said Naima Adedapo: When the little girls get crushes on the guys, we’re fried. Or something to that effect.  In a pre-finale interview with Michael Slezak of Tvline.com, Nigel said producers will consider a one-device, one-vote system for Season 11, or perhaps pulling out the final three contestants and letting the judges decide which one goes home.

Note to Nigel: Given the manipulation that took part in Season 10, you’d deserve a full-scale mutiny if you gave the judges the power to decide who goes home.  The one-device, one-vote system sounds like a winner though. And just imagine how many more people might participate if they didn’t think they had to vote for two hours straight to make a difference.

5. Improve the results shows

Nigel promised us they’d be cut to one-half hour. They weren’t. Too much money to be made selling commercials for an hour-long time slot, I suppose. But if we must endure one-hour results shows that boil down to five minutes of suspense, Idol, make these changes: 1) Make sure the guest performances are age-appropriate, especially as you try to draw in a younger and younger audience; 2) Eliminate the plugs for upcoming films and the other segments that come off as nothing more than in-show commercials.

Season 10 featured perhaps the worst Idol results show ever. You remember. We were treated to actor Russell Brand mentoring the Idols on something because he had an upcoming movie to hawk. Telling Pia Toscano to imagine him and two other pretend judges without pants was supposed to be funny, I guess. We were treated to a behind-the-scenes look at how Gwen Stefani inadvertently turned Pia and Lauren into fashion disasters. We were treated to Constantine Maroulis murdering “Unchained Melody.” We were treated to Iggy Pop, nude to the waist at age 64, singing something. It was an hour of must-avoid TV, even before it ended with the way-too-early ousting of Pia. The Top 3 results show wasn’t much better.

6. Play fair in the early rounds

That one-round semifinal with sudden death sing-offs is the best semifinal format you’ve found. But you need to play fair in the early episodes. It is still grossly unfair how some contestants get so much TV time (Lauren Alaina/Scotty McCreery) and others get so little (Ashthon Jones/Lauren Turner, for example) before the voting begins. Sorry, Nigel, but again, “The Voice” is doing a much, much, much better job at this. Another tip, once you’ve picked performers for the semifinals, put their Hollywood solo, their Vegas group number and their Vegas solo online, so we can see more of what the judges have seen before we’re expected to start judging.

7. Ditch the duets

I loved the addition of duets and smaller group numbers to the results show in Season 10. But I’ve been saying it for three years now, duets are unfair in the competition rounds. This year, they showed up on the Top 6 show. Haley got to sing with Casey. If they don’t have a romantic connection, they certainly have a musical one. Lauren got to sing with Scotty. Both country singers, their voices meshed nicely. That left James Durbin and his rock shriek to duet with Jacob Lusk and his gospel hijinks. Neither deserved to be judged by that performance.

8. Lengthen the final performance show

What happened last week made absolutely no sense. All year long, Idol performance shows have lasted at least an hour and a half. Then Idol trims the time slot to one hour for the most important performance show of the season. The result: Scotty and Lauren scurrying through three songs each. No time for the contestants or the viewers to relish what they’d accomplished to that point. No time even for the judges to provide feedback following the first four songs. Toss in a new Coke song from Taio Cruz, and the whole thing came off as rushed and haphazard, not exactly the way you want to end an Idol season.

OK, fans, I know what you’re thinking: You didn’t miss the lack of judges’ comments. But, remember, these are suggestions for Season 11, when the judging has to be better. Right? And how about all those clips of the contestants’ journey that flashed on the big screen as Scotty and Lauren were singing their final song. We should have been able to enjoy those clips. Presented as they were, they were simply distracting.

9. Show more respect for your history

Season 10 had barely begun when Idol released a 10th anniversary album featuring hits from past contestants. I felt sure it was a sign of things to come, a sign that Idol had big plans to celebrate 10 years of introducing us to performers capable of producing those hits. But a 10th anniversary celebration never materialized.

Worst of all was the season finale, when the only past winner to perform was Carrie Underwood. Hey, the finale was pretty entertaining. But what did most of the guest performers have in common? A new CD, a new film or an upcoming tour to hawk. So we get Jack Black, Gladys Knight, Tony Bennett and, for crying out loud, Tom Jones instead of the likes of Kelly Clarkson, David Cook and Fantasia. That shows a mind-boggling lack of respect for those who came before Season 10.

10. Do not try to create moments

Nigel, oh, Nigel, they really do come off as so staged. Fans rush on stage to hug Jacob Lusk. Pretty young girls rush on stage to mob Scotty McCreery in one of the most orderly mobbings in concert history. Lauren Alaina plucks a random guy out of the audience and sings to him.

Just let the contestants sing and the moments happen. Idol had plenty this year, including both times Casey Abrams was eliminated, an emotional farewell from James Durbin, and a plucky final performance from Haley Reinhart. The one I’ll remember most though was of Scotty McCreery, a newly crowned 17-year-old Idol, sitting on the stage trying to catch a piece of confetti on his tongue.

Those things, Nigel, you can’t stage.

Have other suggestions?

Let me know by commenting below.