Listen up, Idol producers. I’ve got a great idea for your next theme week.
Since you’re so intent on reaching back to the dark ages to find songs for our Idols to sing, how about a week of tunes from the Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers films?
Hear me out. They made some great films together — “Top Hat,” “Swing Time,” “Follow the Fleet.” And their films were also filled with wonderful dance numbers.
Heck, we could get Julianne Hough to serve as mystery guest mentor (except oops, I spoiled the mystery). Hey, she can dance and she can sing. From what I can tell, that’s about as close a connection to Astaire-Rogers films as Jamie Foxx has to the Rat Pack.
OK, I’m joking.
Besides, unlike Jamie, Julianne doesn’t have a new CD to hawk.
Look, I have nothing against music from the Rat Pack. It’s just that, at this stage of the competition, I’d really like to hear our potential Idols singing something close to what they might record once the show ends.
And that ain’t “My Funny Valentine.”
Or the songs in the medley our Idols are currently performing.
By the way, did I just hear Simon say this is a wide open competition. Simon, Simon, Simon. Have you been listening to Adam Lambert? At all?
Here come some results.
Well, not really. Instead Ryan is splitting the contestants into groups.
In one group, we have Matt Giraud and Kris Allen.
In the other, Danny Gokey and Allison Iraheta.
And Ryan is making Adam Lambert decide which group he should join.
Guess what?
Adam Lambert is in the bottom three with Matt Giraud and Kris Allen.
Well, that eliminates my worst fear for tonight’s show, that Allison would be heading home.
But what’s up with Adam Lambert standing there in jeopardy. Is Idol fixing the vote to prove Simon’s point? Or are Adam’s supporters getting lazy with their dialing?
The new worse fear would be to see him head home tonight. Regardless of the endless babble about this season’s contestants being the best ever — they aren’t, not by a long shot — I cannot imagine this season continuing without the weekly anticipation of what Adam will do next.
But before we learn Adam’s fate, Natalie Cole has some albums to sell.
Next up, Taylor Hicks, who also has a new album to sell. It’s called “The Distance” and, after listening to it, I can tell you, Taylor needs all the help he can get. Here’s a review.
The album was released in mid-March, the same day as Kelly Clarkson’s. And while Kelly’s soared up the charts, Taylor’s disappeared from the top 100 in … oh, two weeks.
OK, and now one of our bottom three is sent to safety … and that person is … Kris Allen.
Now this is getting ridiculous. Adam Lambert in the bottom two? Have Idol viewers lost their hearing?
Before we find out whether the rest of this season is going to be worth watching — barely, I’d say, if Adam leaves — it’s Jamie Foxx’s turn to sell records.
And remind us that he also has a movie out.
So, Idol fans, getting nervous? Will Adam head home? We’re about to find out.
Adam Lambert is safe.
Matt Giraud is heading home.
Whew, right?
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