Idol Chatter & Voice Views

So, what do you think of the new American Idol judging panel now?

Truth be told, they’re more cheerleaders than judges.

And the only one earning her paycheck these days is Jennifer Lopez.

When the season started, I figured she’d be the lightweight on the panel, the person who fell into the Paula role as the supporter of  the contestants.

Instead, she’s been the one providing the helpful advice, telling Stefano Langone to make sure he connects with the song, encouraging Pia Toscano to entertain as well as sing, trying to prod Thia Megia out of that cast-iron shell she seems encased in.

As for Randy, he needs to rein in the superlatives before he loses his last shred of credibility. Jacob Lusk was good this week; his performance was far from the best we’ve seen on Idol.

And Randy and the good folks at Idol might hope Lauren Alaina is a combination of Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. But unless she steps it up, she’s headed toward more of a Kellie Pickler style finish.

As for the lightweight of the panel — Steven Tyler wins that title, hands down.

In Steven’s universe, “crazy” might make the world go round.

In mine, I prefer judges who provide contestants with some helpful advice and provide us viewers at home with a sense of who’s worthy and who isn’t.

Spouting phrases like “E to the Z and twiddly dee” and the occasional obscenity doesn’t quite cut it.

In fact, it’s just a waste of a spot at the judges’ table.

Think I’m being too hard on poor Steven? I mean, after all, he often looks quite thoughtful sitting there, staring at the stage in his rock star attire.

I mean, you’d think he’d be formulating words of wisdom to share with the millions watching.

You’d be wrong.

Check out his critiques, word for word, for the 11 contestants last week.

Casey Abrams: “I think you are the perfect entertainer. Perfect pitch and perfect mix of crazy, out-of-control ego. And that’s what makes an artist today. You’re beautiful man. I loved it.”

Thia Megia: “I agree with what Jennifer was saying and Randy. You’ve taken a step out. I love it. Just great. I’m good with it.”

Jacob Lusk: “You did ‘I Believe I Can Fly’ and you were all over the place. This one, you held it back and milked it. And at the very end it was beautiful. You did it, man.”

Lauren Alaina: “Well, baby, you ripped that song another beauty mark, didn’t you? I don’t think you listen to anybody about anything, and I like that about you. Every time you sing, I can hear that person inside that we’ve been watching grow inside come out a little more. That was just beautiful.”

Stefano Langone: “I agree. You wrapped up too soon. But your voice is so beautiful. You just have to pull back a little more and you’ll have it.”

Haley Reinhart: “That was beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. You touch my heart and sang your heart out. You don’t look a day over fabulous. That was really good. That’s the Haley I’ve been looking forward since the first day I heard you.”

Scotty McCreery: “Scotty, that was beautiful. Beautiful. Just like Glen Campbell. He stepped out and took country music a whole nother step. And Harry Nilsson, kinda, sorta. And Scotty, you more than anybody know you can’t make a 3-point spot from under the net. So you took a big chance in doing that. And I love that you really ripped. Just remember, when you go down to those low notes, you tweak everybody.”

Pia Toscano: “I think that right now you are the closest star in this American Idol universe. You are all that. You will be all that. If stepping out and putting your sneakers on and kicking some a– is what you need to do by them — well I know you’re going to do it. It’s just beautiful.”

Paul McDonald: “Very different. Like Dylan. Like Willie Nelson. Your voice is that different. And it’s beautiful in that sense. I love it. I love what you do with a guitar today. It’s just great.”

Naima Adedapo: “I don’t know what to say again. It was E to the Z oh twiddly dee. I heard you came up with the drums, with the dance. That’s a beautiful thing. Once again we see the whole package. This is it right here. Ate the stage. Great. Nice.”

James Durbin: “I think sometimes it takes a little bit of being crazy to make a difference in this world. And that’s what you’re all about. And you are great. Your voice is incredible. You held it in your range where it’s supposed to go. The song was perfect for your voice. You nailed it.”

Whom should you vote for?

Don’t ask Steven. In his crazy world everyone was beautiful, or great, or beautiful, or great.

What should the contestants do to improve?

Don’t ask Steven. The best he could muster was mimic his colleagues’ advice.

Hey, Steven, the crazy is wearing thin.

How about judging for a change?