OK, I want the name of the person who reprimanded Mariah Carey.
Because they deserve a sharp reprimand of their own.
They made Mariah worse.
Apparently, the powers that be scolded Mariah for not being critical enough with the contestants.
So after Lazaro Arbos finished stinking up the Idol stage with his version of “Close to You,” Mariah decided to get tough.
Here’s what followed, though I’m putting it in italics if you’d prefer to skip a repeat of the rambling.
“So, no, Lazaro, here’s the thing. Honestly, I’ve been accused of being too nice and la, la, la. And the powers that be have reminded me and reprimanded me (that) I’m here to judge. So, please understand, like Randy said, you’re the person we all understand, and, in terms of your struggle, there’s no denying you are beyond courageous to be doing this.
“But at this point in the competition, there cannot be a key change and you’re in … and you don’t continue to… how do I express it? We can’t go into another key and you stay in the old key. Does everybody understand what I mean? There’s a thing that happens in the music where it takes you to another level. If you stay in the previous key, that’s just the end of the song.
“And it’s like, if you couldn’t hear yourself, that could be a reason why that maybe could happen. But that’s something I have to point out to you only because if you’re not aware of that, this is like kind of a big deal. And … um … so … I think … OK … for a um, um, um, how do I say it? What is the word? Darling, help me out. Lord, in heaven.
“What I’m trying to say is this: Sometimes it can be harder to sing a quiet song that requires control, that is not belting. Remember when I said when you hit your sweet spot that’s when you’re strongest. Earlier. In another day. So this type of song, you really need to be owning and comfortable and just like, ‘I’m here. I’m singing. I’m casual. Whatever.’
“If you don’t have that ability to do that, which I only felt for like, half a second toward the end, it’s not the right selection for you. And I’m sorry to say that because I dearly love you and respect you. But I’m trying to help your next performance.”
In other words, folks, Mariah took more than 300 words to tell a singer he missed a key change and that shouldn’t happen at this stage of the Idol finals.
The Idol reactions were priceless.
Nicki, who seldom smiles when Mariah is speaking, was grinning ear to ear. I would have loved to have read a thought bubble.
At the midway point, Randy Jackson started rubbing — or was he scratching — the top of his head.
Lazaro looked like he was concentrating very hard to follow what Mariah was saying. Until she reached the “Lord in heaven” part. Then he couldn’t help but smile, too, even though he was in the middle of receiving some pretty horrible feedback.
The problem is, I doubt many viewers at home were smiling.
I imagine most were thinking what I was: Please, someone, make her stop.
Her rambling finally did stop. After 2 minutes and 8 seconds.
That’s longer than Lazaro sang.
Heck, it seemed longer than an Idol commercial break.
So, what have we learned, American Idol?
1. Do not criticize Mariah.
2. If that’s the improved Mariah, if that’s the Mariah who’s truly trying to judge, she deserves the boot every bit as much as Lazaro.
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2 Comments
What The….this kid has enough on him and he has to put up with this kind of crap…I hope he gets more votes this go round than EVER!