Idol Chatter & Voice Views

OK, none of the American Idol judges compared a contestant to a donkey on a race track with thoroughbreds.

No one suggested an auditioner sue his or her vocal coach.

But you know what, this new American Idol judging panel just might work.

At least that’s my thinking after episode 1 of Season 10, featuring the New Jersey auditions.

I mean, Steven Tyler is an out-and-out hoot. Some of the expressions that crossed his face were priceless.

And Jennifer Lopez is every bit as sweet as Paula Abdul at her most supportive.

But a whole lot more coherent.

And, hey, episode one of American Idol Season 10 wasn’t entirely without its zingers.

Snarky Simon Award #1: Steven Tyler, for asking the rather strange Michael Perotto: “Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?” Sorta justified. After all, that was a very strange version of “Proud Mary.”

Snarky Simon Award #2: Randy Jackson. Future Eagle Scout Chris Cordeiro was butchering “My Way.” He had just belted out “the end is near,” when Randy interrupted with a: “Yes, it is.” Wow, rather rude, Dawg.

Beyond that … well, snarkyness was in short supply.

Crazy, off-key contestants weren’t.

Singers?

A teen named Robbie Rosen stood out. Another teen Victoria Huggins, wins the Miss Personality Award on opening night. And she can sing, too. And a teen from the Bronx, Travis Orlando, has a voice as good as his hard-luck childhood backstory.

Three 16-year-olds. Wow. And I’m not normally a fan of younger American Idol contestants. Unless their name is Allison Iraheta.

Now, the promised grades for the judges.

Steven Tyler: He’s destined to be the star of this show. The episode had barely started when he blurted out: “Hell’s bells, save the matches, (bleep) a duck and see what hatches.” Is live TV ready for Mr. Aerosmith? He might make Idol adopt a 10-second delay.

The only question: Will the rock star judge with his ears or his eyes. He asked one fetching young lass: “Where’s your pitchfork?” Another well-endowed New Jersey gal, who emphasized her figure by pasting big silver stars on her breasts, butchered every high note. Steven voted to send her to Hollywood. He said he liked “her energy.” Yeah, right. But, no doubt, the guy is entertaining. Grade: A-.

Jennifer Lopez: She mentored and performed on Idol in season six. Back then, she said she came from the Paula Abdul school of judging. She wasn’t kidding. The first time a contestant deserved rejection, her reaction: “Oh, no, this is awful … Why did I sign up for this?” But she showed a knack for letting contestants down gently.  Like: “You’re very sweet, but this is not for you.”

Jennifer came off as very sweet in the process. And, for a star, she displayed none of the know-it-all attitude we got from that seat at the judges’ table last year. I’ll take J-Lo over Kara DioGuardi any minute of any hour of any day of any year. Grade: B.

Randy Jackson: Randy was Randy. Did he step up his game, as Nigel Lythgoe suggested in pre-season 10 interviews? Not really. For the most part, he let J-Lo and Steven do the critiquing.

He was solid. He offered nothing that’s going to be a topic of water cooler discussion Wednesday morning. Grade: C.

Of course, this show was pre-taped. We have to remember that. We saw what the producers wanted us to see. And, on night one of Season 10, it was only natural that they’d want the spotlight to shine most brightly on their new stars, Steven and Jennifer.

You know what?

For the most part, I was entertained.