Idol Chatter & Voice Views

It’s only episode two of The X Factor and, already, so many questions.

Nicole Scherzinger takes a pretty picture, but can she judge now that she’s done celebrating her birthday with kiddie talk?

Can the show regain its footing after letting silliness reign supreme in a Seattle episode that featured lots of crazies and very little talent?

Speaking of crazies, now that we’ve seen Geo Godley drop his drawers, are we in for more juvenile, attention-grabbing stunts (and I mean on the part of the show, not Geo)?

And, perhaps most importantly, how many people will care?

For a series debut, The X Factor did pretty well in the ratings Wednesday night.

For a show with aspirations of being number one … well, there’s a ways to go. The audience was dismal compared to the Season 10 premiere of American Idol and didn’t even carry its time slot (thanks to “Mad Men.”)

Two hours later, the answers are dismally disappointing.

Between acting like she’s scared of ghosts and making goo-goo eyes at a hunky male contestant, Nicole came off as a ditz.

No, the show did not regain its footing. Simon and company seem determined to show us the worst, most outrageous contestants instead of the best.

And I’ll be surprised if, by the end of the night, The X Factor didn’t lose a big chunk of the audience that tuned into the show on Wednesday.

The breakdown:

Music: The much-hyped Melanie Amaro, 18, sounded almost as great as advertised singing “Listen” from Dreamgirls. But hearing Simon proclaim that she’s why he brought The X Factor to the U.S. seemed pretty overblown after just one song. The only other contestant that wowed in Miami was 32-year-old teacher Kendra Williams.

The Dallas auditions offered up the equally impressive Caitlin Koch, a pretty 21-year-old blond rugby coach who dazzled with a toned-down version of “Stop in the Name of Love.” And that’s pretty much it. Grade: D.

Judges: Well, L.A. Reid proved early on in Thursday’s episode that Simon isn’t the only judge capable of doling out scathing criticism when he told Ashley Santone the following: “You were getting on my nerves when you were talking. When you started singing, I wanted to slit my wrist.” Very Simon-like, huh?

Simon came up with one of his classic put-downs when he compared 17-year-old Jonny Rogers to a Justin Bieber doll gone wrong. And Paula sounded downright sincere, brilliant even, in doling out critiques to Miami contestant Nick Vloss and Dallas contestant Dexter Haygood.  But, Nicole. Oh, Nicole. You manage to bring down the grade for the entire panel. Grade: C.

Contrived crap: Watching Paula get sick at the sight of a man with no pants, watching the other judges wonder whether she’d possibly return during Wednesday’s episode came off as silly, contrived drama.

Watching Simon fret over the lack of talent in Miami, after producers sent a series of crazies with no possible hope of advancing onto stage, one after the other, came off as even sillier.  Grade: F.

The crazies: The X Factor ended Wednesday’s episode with nearly a full hour of the musically challenged. Then it started Thursday’s with a half hour of no-talent nonsense.

If Miami was truly that short on talent, scheduling those segments back to back was as stupid as the night Idol decided Shakira and Rascal Flatts should sing a duet. And, again, none of it was original. The X Factors crazies, that is.  Grade: F.

The backstories: We have a guy who sold his truck to make it to the Dallas auditions, then flopped around the stage screaming obscenities. We had a 14-year-old who swears she can see ghosts, supposedly prompting the lights to go out on The X Factor stage.

Only the segment on Dexter Haygood, who’s homeless and has only a car and enough clothes to perform in was worthy of stirring any emotions. Simon promised raw and edgy. Hmm, haven’t seen it yet.  Grade: D.

Honestly, if I hadn’t been blogging about The X Factor Thursday night, I would have turned the TV off after 45 minutes, before Melanie Amaro ever took the stage.

Those two hours rivaled the worst episode Idol has ever aired.

And featuring just two top-notch singers over the course of two hours gives viewers very little incentive to ever, ever tune in again.

Grade: F