Idol Chatter & Voice Views

How lousy were the first two episodes of The X Factor?

Well, here’s a telling fact. The show was able to recap the truly special performances from week one in … oh, about a minute of Tuesday’s show.

So I sat down for Wednesday’s show with much lowered expectations. Sorta like when I pop a 1970s Spaghetti Western comedy I’ve never seen into the DVD player, knowing I’m probably in for 90 minutes of Grade Z entertainment.

That’s how bad The X Factor was last week.

But there was this glimmer of hope going into Wednesday’s show. The X Factor was heading to Chicago. The home of Idol’s Season 9 winner Lee DeWyze. The home of Idol’s Season 10 standout Haley Reinhart. The home of Season 5 post-Idol sensation Jennifer Hudson.

Which was the only one of those names The X Factor felt like dropping at the start of the show. Which is sort of curious since Simon Cowell once told J-Hud she was “out of her depth” on American Idol.

Anyway, back to the X Factor at hand. The show sorta rediscovered its stride. The crazies appeared on stage and were gone in a heartbeat instead of dominating the two hours. The show started with a talented country music duo and introduced us to several other singers we’re likely to see again as the show progresses.

Hmm, novel concept, right? I mean, the whole idea of the show is to find someone worthy of a $5 million recording contract.

Along the way, we were thrown some delicious curves. You just knew 30-year-old burrito-slinger Josh Krajcik, driven to the auditions by his mom, was going to be horrible, right? Until he opened his mouth.

You just knew 31-year-old J. Mark Inman, with his desire to be “at the helm of a renaissance,” was going to be a bad joke, right? Until he started those weird dance moves and delivered a surprising version of Radiohead’s “Creep.”

As for tonight’s grades …

The judges: Having watched two audition cities with Cheryl Cole and her wonderful accent, and four episodes with ditzy Nicole Scherzinger, I have no idea what Simon was thinking when he replaced the former with the latter. Or maybe the problem was that he was seeing instead of thinking … anyway, having Cheryl around for the first half of Wednesday’s show helped. L.A. Reid comes off as knowing what he’s talking about all the time. I’m not sure we’ve ever seen Paula this coherent and tuned in. Simon’s still Simon. He told one trio: “Everything was three times as bad as it should have been.” Grade: B.

The music: I was not as impressed as the judges by aspiring Virgina Beach boy band 4Shore. Or by 14-year-old Justin Bieber fan Drew Ryniewicz. Or by 16-year-old country singer Skyelor Anderson. As the judges said, 21-year-old part-time waiter Phillip Lomax has the attitude, the looks and the smile to be a star, but his singing might not be up to par. Or perhaps it was his song selection. “Fly Me to the Moon” left me with horrible flashbacks to Frank Sinatra theme nights on Idol.

I would have loved to have her more from 53-year-old grandmother and wedding singer Elaine Gibbs and from adorable 17-year-old Francesca Duncan.

I don’t need to hear more to know that the aforementioned Josh Krajcik and Makenna Sullinger are two of the best voices The X Factor has uncovered so far. Makenna was part of a country duo with good friend (not boyfriend) Brock Wade. They were the first auditioners we were introduced to Wednesday night, which got the show off to a pleasant start. Simon called her voice “sensational.” High praise coming from a guy who is hardly a fan of country music. Grade: B

The crazies: Kept as a side dish rather than the main course, the hopeless auditions come off as a change of pace rather than an annoyance. And they provided Nicole with one of her finest moments when The X Factor went to Seattle. After hearing one vocally challenged mother-daughter duet, she complained that the performance was “lifeless.” And how about the singing, Nicole? Grade: B

The drama: Well, at least it came off as much less contrived this time. Seems Paula and Nicole were having trouble saying yes to girls who showed up on stage wearing outfits that screamed “sexy.” To the point where Simon would mutter “DOA” every time a pretty girl showed up on stage.

Now you might have noticed that cleavage-flaunting Nicole was also having trouble standing up in her high heels and tight dresses, but I guess that’s beside the point. Anyway, they were about to shoot down the night’s final auditioner, 19-year-old Thia Tolliver when Simon went into a cup-throwing frenzy, pleading for them to give her a second chance. They did, Nicole changed her mind and Thia is off to boot camp. Which is where we’ll all be after one more two-hour audition episode. Grade: C

Summation: Not Grade Z this time around, and a heck of an improvement from Thursday night. Grade: B.