Idol Chatter & Voice Views

I’ve been trying to picture this.

Idol’s frontrunner is Crystal Bowersox, a 24-year-old mom from Ohio and a pretty serious musician.

She’s likely looking forward to input from some of the music legends Idol offers up as mentors, people like Paul McCartney, Dolly Parton and Smokey Robinson.

Heck, bet she’d love some input from one of her idols, Melissa Etheridge.

Instead, Idol trots out as its first mentor of season nine: 17-year-old Miley Cyrus.

Hmm, she’s going to teach Crystal Bowersox … what?

How to sing? Nah. How to write songs? Hardly. How to play guitar or harmonica? Doubt it.

How to pole dance at the Teen Choice Awards?

Well, if the bad news is that we have to put up with Miley on Idol this week, the good news is that the show’s producers have given the contestants the latitude to do just about any type of music they want.

The theme, after all, is Billboard’s No. 1 hits. And if you can’t find a number one hit you can perform well … well, you don’t belong on Idol’s summer tour.

After all, that’s what’s at stake this week.

1. Crystal Bowersox: She does not consider herself the favorite to win season 9. How many times does she have to say it? Maybe she knows more American Idol history than folks give her credit for. Early favorites — Danny Gokey, David Archuleta, Melinda Doolittle — have failed to bring home the crown three straight years.

2. Lee DeWyze: Crystal needs to give Lee a lesson on how to look cool, calm and collected onstage. You’d think a guy with two CDs to his credit would already know that. I know this: “Beast of Burden” might not have been overly challenging, but Lee turned in one of the best vocals in week one.

3. Siobhan Magnus: Hate to rock the Siobhan bandwagon, but “Paint It Black” was more style than substance. “House of the Rising Sun” was a brilliant vocal. “Paint It Black” was not. Seriously. Play it back a couple of times. And that scream. When Adam Lambert screamed, he was hitting incredible notes. Siobhan seems to scream just to scream.

4. Michael Lynche: Some folks are picking on Big Mike for his on-screen antics. I’m not among them. On a season when so many contestants have stood behind a mic stand, played guitar and performed a sleepy ballad, I find someone who cavorts across the stage and still sings in key a welcome change of pace.

5. Casey James: Mr. Eye Candy as a teen idol? Could have been a tricky week for Casey. I was afraid it might turn downright hokey. Likely there are more No. 1 hits the 27-year-old will feel comfortable singing. Regardless, I think we’ll be hearing from Casey for a few more weeks.

6. Didi Benami: It almost happened again. After promising not to cry, Didi admits she teared up when Idol ran footage of her mom last Tuesday night. The good news: Didi sang very, very well. The best she has in any live show so far. And with all those number one hits from all those years to choose from, Didi should be able to pick something nice and cheerful or nice and dark (like “Play With Fire”) so she can keep the emotions in check.

7. Aaron Kelly: The most impressive live performance to date for the Sonestown teen came on Rolling Stones week. I would not have predicted that. A teen idol week would have suited him perfectly. Still, I think he’ll persevere. Welcome to the summer tour, Aaron Kelly. Keep singing like you did on “Angie,” and you’ll move up this list.

8. Katie Stevens: Kara proclaimed Katie a potential winner back in Hollywood. The teen queen hasn’t pulled it all together since, though last week’s “Wild Horses” seemed like a step in the right direction vocally. But about the wardrode, Katie: You sang a Stones song in a breezy dress that looked like you were heading off to a summer party at a country club. On the bright side: This week you can be as young as you want. After all, Taylor Swift is about your age, and she’s had plenty of number one hits.

9. Paige Miles: I actually found myself rooting for Paige last week. I mean, she lost her voice to laryngitis, then bounced back with her first finals-worthy performance of the season. It would have been a shame to see her leave on that note. That said, her best performance nearly got her eliminated, and I think she could be in real trouble this week because … (see number 11.)

10. Andrew Garcia: Where, oh, where did that talented balladeer from Hollywood Week go? Each week, we wait for Andrew to turn it around. Each week, he seems to lose his way a little more. It’s reached the point where we’ll wonder if his next solid performance is real or fluke. I saw someone refer to him as Danny Gokey II. Because of the glasses, I guess. Certainly not the singing.

11. Tim Urban: When you listen to the lyrics of “Under My Thumb” and decide, ‘Gee, that would sound good with a reggae beat’ … well, you deserve to be the poster child of Vote for the Worst and at the bottom of Idol rankings like these. That said, I suspect Tim will find this week’s theme a much better fit, which could put the three contestants immediately ahead of him on this list in danger.