Season Seven, Season Seven Finals

Someone call a deputy and lock up Jason Castro

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If ever an American Idol episode showed the folly of the voters, Tuesday night was it.

Carly Smithson was sitting in the audience, having been eliminated two weeks ago. Brooke White was singing “You’re So Vain” on the Morning Show, not the Idol stage, having gotten the boot last week.

And there was Jason Castro — complete with dreads, smile and minimal talent — turning in what had to be the worst final four performance in Idol history.

Simon told Jason, flat out: “Pack your bags.”

If Idol voters don’t do the same … well, wow … at this point, Jason’s making Sanjaya look good. As least Sanjaya was entertaining.

P.S.: Anyone suffering Carly or Brooke withdrawal should check out iTunes. Now available: Brooke’s 2006 independent label CD “Songs from the Attic” (which is quite good) and Carly’s much-maligned earlier effort, “Ultimate High.”

Now that the commercial break is out of the way — hey, aren’t commercials synonymous with Idol? — here’s the rundown from this week’s show.

Best of the bunch:

When he picks the right song, David Archuleta is pure magic at the tender age of 17. With “Stand By Me,” young David picked the perfect round-one song. Can’t say the same for his later rendition of “Love Me Tender.”

Second best performance of the night goes to Syesha Mercado with a very hot little version of “Proud Mary.”

Deserves to go home:

Jason tried to do Bob Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff” in round one; then forgot the lyrics to Bob Dylan’s “Mr. Tambourine Man” in round two. Simon’s right-on assessment of the former: “utterly atrocious … the performing and the singing was as bad as I’ve ever heard.” And, later, “The only similarity (to Bob Marley) was the hair.”

Please keep her:

Hey, when the guys are skating by on the heartthrob factor, all’s fair in love and Idol, right? So Syesha turned in the season’s sauciest performance during “Proud Mary,” then let the tears of emotion flow after singing “A Change Is Gonna Come” in round two. And she looked like a star on both trips to the stage. Easily the most improved of the final four over the course of the season.

Baffled by the judges:

I didn’t get David Archuleta’s version of “Love Me Tender,” which got rave reviews from all three judges. Perhaps I’ve heard the Elvis version too often.

Best line of the night from the judges:

Another zinger from Simon regarding Jason’s first song. David Archuleta followed him to the stage. Said Simon: “You could have whistled and it would have sounded better than that last song.”

Surprise of the night:

With a world of songs to pick from on rock-n-roll Hall of Fame Night, David Cook tried to turn “Hungry Like the Wolf” into rocker in round one. It didn’t work. And it might have been one of David C.’s worst performances in weeks. Of course, it didn’t bother Paula. Her response: “Your ‘Hungry Like the Wolf’ left me with a big appetite.” TMI, Paula.

Prediction for Wednesday

That’s six straight turkeys from Jason, folks. Isn’t it time to send him home? Any other verdict tonight would be criminal.

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