Idol Chatter & Voice Views

Are American TV viewers really hungry for another reality singing competition?

We’ll find out tonight when the Simon Cowell’s The X Factor premieres on FOX (8 p.m. EST).

Now, Simon Cowell the judge, I appreciate. I mean, the man actually judges, unlike the pretend judges on the show he left behind.

Simon Cowell the egomaniac … well, I can only stand so much of him. So I’ve purposely avoided much of the promotional fodder leading up to tonight’s X Factor debut. Because Simon has been turning up everywhere over the past couple of months, hawking his show, determined to make it number one.

But, now that the show’s less than 24 hours away, I guess it’s time to play catchup.

What can we expect over the next nine months, before X Factor ends with a finale just three days before Christmas.

Follow along …

The judges: Given more than a year off since he last appeared on Idol, I can only imagine Simon has dreamed up new and imaginative ways to tell wannabe stars they stink. And he’ll be reunited with Paula Abdul, who sounded coherent in the couple of promo interviews I’ve seen. Ain’t that sweet. I mean, the reunion part. Paula’s always been more entertaining when she isn’t coherent.

They’ll be joined by music executive L.A. Reid and former Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger. But the first episode might be a little confusing. Because Cheryl Cole was supposed to be a judge, indeed started the auditions as a judge until she got replaced by Nicole.

Perhaps Nicole got the job because of that fringy white nightie she wore when we saw her cavorting about the American Idol stage last May. Or maybe Cheryl was forced to pay the price because she — not Simon Cowell — mentored the winning contestant in two of the last three years on the U.K. version of the X Factor.

What we’ll see first: The auditions, of course, which run through Sept. 29. And these auditions aren’t just in front of the four judges, they take place in front of a studio audience encouraged to provide feedback. If the majority of judges like a performance, the individual or group makes it to the next round.

And then: There’s boot camp. The performers will be split up into categories — guys, girls, groups and older singers — and forced to prove themselves “under greater scrutiny than ever before.” Gee, sounds just a bit like Idol’s Hollywood Week, doesn’t it?

The mentoring: Different from Idol, very much like The Voice. Performers who make it through boot camp will get a mentor. Each judge will mentor one of the aforementioned groups. That mentor will decide which performers should advance to the live shows.

And finally: The live shows begin Oct. 25 and run through Dec. 22. The performers will still be mentored. In fact, the judges will coach them on what to sing, what to wear and how to win over an audience. Because, after all, viewers will have the final say on who wins the show’s $5 million recording contract.

The music: Simon says this show will not be about karaoke performances. In fact, karaoke-type imitations of the original songs will be very much frowned upon. He expects the performers to bring something different, something original to the songs. After all, there are downloads to sell.

The backstories: Go ahead and groan. I know I did when I read this quote from Simon. “Obviously No. 1 on the list is talent, but No. 2 is you’ve really, really got to be an interesting person and have a really good back story … different types of contestants than what you’ve seen before, and very, very different back stories – the types of stories I don’t think other shows would put on. It’s edgy, it’s raw, it’s real life.”

How raw? How real life?

Well, in the auditions some guy drops his pants.

Hey, we had bikini girl and bikini guy. We had guys stripping off their shirts to impress Shania and Jennifer. This was bound to happen sooner or later, right?

And, I mean, doesn’t that sound like something that would happen in real life?

Yeah, right.

Welcome to The X Factor.