The Voice

Miley Cyrus as an adviser and coach on The Voice? Say it ain’t so

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Miley Cyrus and Christina Aguilera share a special moment on The Voice. (NBC Photo)

Miley Cyrus and Christina Aguilera share a special moment on The Voice. (NBC Photo)

Miley Cyrus as the knockout round adviser on The Voice?

Miley as a Season 11 coach on the show?

What the hell are the show’s producers thinking?

I mean, the premise of The Voice is supposed to be that the focus is on the voice.

Sure, stage presence and charisma play a role as the show progresses. But they don’t win you a spot on the show. Not with the coaches facing in the opposite direction. Vocal prowess is what lands you on the show.

Now, let’s play word association. When I say Miley Cyrus, is vocal prowess what comes to mind?

I’ll pause for a moment until you stop laughing.

When Miley Cyrus is in the news, it’s seldom even about music. The headlines generally stem from one outrageous antic or another.

Let’s see, there was the pole dancing at the Teen Choice Awards back in 2009, admittedly mild considering what was to come.

There was the twerking and the obscene gestures at the VMAs back in 2013.

Oh, and let’s not forget the hosting gig at the 2015 MTV awards and that “accidental” boob slip.

Given such an impressive track record of keeping her name in the news for everything but music, I can see why The Voice would want to hold up Miley as a role model for its truly talented cast to follow.

Miley Cyrus is a publicity photo for her upcoming role on The Voice. (NBC Photo)

Miley Cyrus is a publicity photo for her upcoming role on The Voice. (NBC Photo)

I mean, what advice are we expecting here?

Miley: “Girlfriend, you really need to lose some of those clothes for this performance.”

Miley: “Not enough. Strip, baby, strip!”

Miley: “You’re not comfortable singing nearly nude? That’s okay. I’ve got a sex toy from my last tour you can strap around your waist.”

Miley: “You’re not into wearing a dildo? Can you at least dance like a slut?”

Miley: “Okay, okay. How about wearing a diaper and sucking on a really huge milk bottle?”

Miley: “You’ve got to work with me here. Can you at least stick your tongue out really, really far?”

Okay, perhaps I’m being too hard on Miley. Perhaps, she’ll spout pearls of vocal wisdom all over The Voice’s Season 10 cast.

But let’s remember, this has been tried before. Miley mentored the contestants for an episode of American Idol back in Season 9.

I don’t recall many pearls of vocal wisdom.

I do recall closeups of Miley chomping gum in the audience as the Idols performed.

And a couple of guest performances so pitchy they made my ears ache.

But, hey, we’re off to a great start. Miley apparently decided to dress like a clown for her role as Voice adviser.

As for Miley the coach?

Imagine you’re a singer who takes your craft seriously and you have the option of joining Team Blake, Team Adam, Team Alicia or Team Miley.

Which would you be least likely to choose?

What the hell is The Voice thinking?

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